“The worst thing a naked woman can do is frown and shoo her partner away as some kind of vermin. Only because she’s busy or is rushing off to work. If you’re naked, let your partner touch you. It won’t take too much of your time – he just wants to kiss and stroke your breasts – so let him, and don’t forget to smile!”

The year is 2017 and one of Slovak major newspapers regularly issues this kind of advice to women, in its women’s section. It does sound like satire, but it’s not.

The author of these mind gems operates under the abbreviation “MaM” and usually tries to cover men’s perspective, disclosing some uncomfortable “truths” to women. E.g.

“It may sound incredible, but rest assured men will more often leave quiet lovers than those who, although not aware of that many sexual positions, perform well in the moaning area.”

As we and our followers consider ourselves progressive, we tend to stay away from most slovak articles aimed at women, as these are invariably sexist. Yet, when we found out about the existence of this kind of advice, we had to act. Wouldn’t you? Here’s another example:

“5 ways all men lie to their partners
‘Your looks are not important’
They are! And they’re often the reason why a man may simply exchange you for a better version. Let’s look reality in the eye. Men tend to change fully functional TVs, cars, or smartphones for one reason only – they like another product a lot more. “

After reading all kinds of terrible advice like the one above, we wrote an open letter to Pravda, which is the name of the newspaper. The advice that we highlighted brought a lot of rage as well as incredulousness from our followers and their wider circles. Indeed, it is hard to believe a major news company would publish anything like this:

“You can shape your female pubic hair into a little heart, or the first letter of his name. Where will this have the best impact on your man? Almost anywhere, but if you go to a nudist beach together, he’ll feel like a king. Why? You “tattooed” who you belong to on your groin!”

More than 600 women signed the open letter. We are a small country of just 5 million inhabitants, so that number of signatures is not particularly small. And yet, a month has passed since we sent the letter and there’s no response. The author of the sexist advice below is still employed as a writer in Pravda:

“If you don’t seduce your man, you don’t wiggle your ass in front of him in the morning allowing him to have something to think about during the day, if you don’t show him a coquettish smile or your breasts somewhere outdoors just for his pleasure, he will choose a woman that will.”

The only good thing is, that after we wrote the open letter, this auteur stopped writing about sex. We hope it is not only a temporary measure and the public won’t be blessed with more stuff like this:

“Many women behave very unnaturally naked. No need! Why couldn’t you spend the hot days inside your apartment wearing no bra? Every man would be pleased to see female nudity in its natural form. They want to see your breasts swaying while you cook Sunday dinner, or while you’re ironing.“

Note the combination of the stereotypically “women’s” tasks with the request to provide sexual titillation. If there was a contest for the most sexist advice ever, the quote above would be a very likely winner.

Anyway, we’d really like to get an answer from Pravda. That is why we’re publishing this article in English, hoping to reach people abroad and make Pravda take us a bit more seriously.

We’ll say goodbye to you now, but here are three other MaM quotes, if you need a dose of adrenaline.

“Men want to see it all – the body, the vagina.. for them, sex is a visual experience. Shy girls make all of us angry.”

“For men, sex is a basic need. Something akin to having dinner. (…) therefore, women should know it’s not only their libido that decides when sex happens. Women should also be accommodating to the wishes of their men.“

“There’s not a man who’s not jealous. Don’t waste your time on the one who isn’t! A man who loves his woman will be so intensely jealous, it may be unpleasant.”

We are an intersectional feminist online magazine based in Slovakia, Europe.